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Baby Boom Special: Does a baby have to destroy your career?

Filed under: Work & Careers, Families

I find the whole debate about working mums misdirected. Everyone always focuses on the mother when there is a baby and whether she should go back to work or stay at home - but what about the father?

I think every couple should sit down and think about how they can jointly juggle kids and work. This could mean one parent working part-time for a while, or both, or one parent staying at home until the kids are older.

The problem is that in many cases men are still the main breadwinners, which means that their career usually comes first while their partner's suffers when they stay at home with the kids. As a result, women earn much less than men over their lifetime and often face poverty in retirement as their pensions also suffer.

Changes to maternity/paternity leave will go some way towards redressing the balance, assuming fathers make use of them! From April, mothers can take up to a year off, but only nine months with statutory maternity pay, and from April 2011, they can transfer up to six months of their maternity leave to the father and return to work. At the moment, fathers are only entitled to two weeks' paid paternity leave.

Certainly, for women having a baby can have devastating effects on their career.

The evidence is depressing. A poll of 3,000 working mothers found that almost one in five were demoted without warning when they returned to work. A quarter walked back into the office to discover they had been replaced by someone else.

Half said that having a baby had a negative effect on their career. Some 26% were forced to take a pay cut, and 49% said they had missed out on promotions and other work opportunities, despite working hard.

Women who have a baby in their twenties or even earlier could easily find themselves with a lot less money and career options over time than those who have children when they are older. So delaying a baby until your thirties could improve your career prospects.

There are some glimmers of hope. Recent statistics have shown that the number of 'breadwinner wives' has hit about 2.7 million, which means one in five women out-earn their partner. And a further 25% earn the same as their other half.

As a result, the number of men who stay at home to look after their kids, because their wife is earning more, has jumped 80% in 15 years. In 1994, there were 120,000 men who stayed at home with the kids, but now there are 214,000. That number is still tiny, though.

For any parent who stays at home, it is really important not to lose touch with developments in the workplace. Can you do some part-time work until you're ready to go back full-time?

Of course, some people use a baby as an opportunity to rejig their career and do something entirely different and hopefully more fulfilling. There are several examples of working mothers setting up their own, successful businesses that give them more flexible working hours.

But not everyone is that entrepreneurial. It would really help if companies became more open-minded about offering part-time work and flexible hours. Surely they don't want the brain drain caused by stay-at-home mums and dads?

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